A Square Peg In A Round Hole.
Why do we feel we have to fit in? Why are we expected to change to conform to what is expected? We can still be our own authentic self and contribute to society in unique and amazing ways that no one else can; because there is not a soul like mine anywhere. I have learnt to embrace that fact and be proud of it.
I may be a square peg, but I refuse to be pushed and shoved and reshaped to fit into the round hole of conformity.
I held a Women’s Circle at Palm View a while ago and it was very well received and enjoyed by all who attended. There was fun, education and there was healing. Yes healing. We had a session to share stuff about ourselves and the general consensus of the night was that we all felt like we were square pegs being asked to fit into round holes. The different masks we must wear so people can’t see the real us while we are busy squeezing our way into shapes that we just don’t fit into. I think the fear of disappointing, being ridiculed or ostracised for being true to ourselves. Fear of not being accepted.
We are asked to shut up, and we get shut down. Our voices, our opinions, our ideas, our compassion, our passion, get compromised in order to keep the status quo. We can’t go around upsetting the apple cart now, can we. Finding the courage to speak your truth, be your authentic self and set your boundaries is the hard part, but it does become easier the more we practice. Some may be offended by this new found confidence and leave, but it creates space for the believers, the encouragers and the light givers to come into your life and enhance it. Sometimes we have to let go of something to open the pathway to greater things. Fear stops us from letting go. Fear of change, fear of the unknown or fear of losing something we have just learnt to live with. When we start to make changes in our life, many won’t understand, and that’s ok because it’s not their life to make sense of. Fear of standing alone can also contribute to shutting down our truth. Standing alone can be intimidating, scary and lonely. When you look at the big picture, the most magnificent things are standing alone. Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio, all the big things in Australia. the big prawn, the big pineapple, the big banana, etc. Uluru is another grand loner. Get the picture. If you have to stand alone, your magnificence can be seen and felt. You will be appreciated for all your true beauty and the magic makers and light givers will be drawn to you, and the greatness created by the collective will be more than could ever have been imagined.
Through different events in my life, I had become hard, as a form of self-preservation, and lost sight of the true me. Through others being unkind, untrustworthy, judgmental and just plain mean, I had hardened and started to put up walls around me so no one could get in and see the real me. I pretended to be the round peg and I would put on the masks. No one got upset or felt challenged this way; but I died a little inside each time I retreated behind my walls I had built. I felt alone and had to become my own best friend. I had to learn to accept myself and love me for who I was, but was afraid to show it to others as in the past the true me was not appreciated or accepted by the cirlcle I was travelling in. It took me a long time to trust in myself, my word, my voice, my truth. I value kindness, unconditional love, compassion, honesty and trust. I found value in acceptance of all things as they are or doing my best to change the things that I am unable to accept. I tried to always find the good in every situation. This is not always the most popular way to be and many feel uncomfortable with these values as it can highlight the short comings in their own life; so I just shut up.
In life’s many twists and turns, I left the cirlcle in which I was travelling and I got off the roundabout of doing the same things and expecting different outcomes. I took a leap of faith in myself and changed everything. As you can imagine, I was not popular, but I look back to where I was and where I am now and couldn’t be prouder of myself for I have come along way and achieved many things. I now surround myself with amazingly positive people who have the same or similar values I do. I love my life and am grateful every day for all the great things I have been blessed with.I am happy. I am me.
Becoming a yoga teacher has allowed and encouraged me to once again be proud of who I am, by being allowed and encouraged to love and accept myself. Flaws and all. It has taught me that being a square peg is a blessing and should be treated as the greatest gift. I am unique and this uniqueness is to be celebrated. Being open and vulnerable can be uncomfortable and down right scary sometimes but it is also the gateway to transporting an abundance of love into the soul. It is through the discomforts in life that the personal growth occurs. Yoga is not a cult, not a religion or a hippy way of life. Yoga is a union of the mind, the body and the soul. It is an awakening of the senses; it is being present in every moment. It is being grateful for the abundance of life. It is being positive and kind. It is accepting, sharing, connections. It is about the fundamentals of human nature. If you try yoga you may just surprise yourself what you may find. I found myself again. My voice. My true authentic self. I am a proud square peg who does not want to fit into the round hole anymore. I now know there is nothing to fear but fear itself.